Fear of Rejection
Is it possible that being afraid of rejection could stop you in the pursuit of your destiny, goals, purpose, and yes, even in finding true love? What would you open yourself up to, if rejection was never an issue? (Thoughts to ponder)
Are you so afraid of being hurt that you have put up walls all around to protect yourself, just in case? The truth is that everybody will experience rejection sometime in their life. How we handle that rejection is what is important.
I remember when I was fourteen years old, I got my first kiss from a boy at a church pizza party. I thought I was in love. The next Wednesday as I expectantly walked into the back door of the sanctuary, I could not wait to be able to sit next to my new “boyfriend”. Instead what I saw, was him on one of the back pews with his arm around my girlfriend. At fourteen, this was as heartbreaking as I could imagine. I felt so rejected. That kiss did not mean a thing to him, but it meant a great deal to me. I ran to the lady’s room in the basement and cried my eyes out. I looked for a way of escape before someone could see I was crying. I slipped out the basement door of the fellowship hall and hurried home where I could throw myself on my bed and cry into my pillow. Forget about church. I couldn’t have sat through a sermon then anyway. That young man would never know how rejected I felt. That would have been way too humiliating.
I learned a new technique that day. It was called “protecting myself”. I learn to put up walls so I would never be that vulnerable ever again. I have no idea how many hearts I broke during my dating years. If I ever felt vulnerable at all, or sensed any trouble in a relationship, I just baled. It became a knee jerk reaction. I probably missed out on what might have been some great guys, if I had known how to stay and work through difficult moments. But my philosophy was, I will break up with him, before he has a chance to break up with me. That way I was sure to avoid rejection, I could reject him first.
I had a lot to learn. Fear of being rejected is not based on truth. It is based on what others might or might not think of you. When I hear Christian songs that say, “All I need is you Lord” I get a little irritated, because that is not true. We cannot make it in this life without people. That is why God created Eve for Adam. Gen.2:18 “…It is not good for man to be alone.” If we are afraid of being rejected we may never open-up to new relationships or opportunities. We will guard and protect ourselves because we do not trust God to do that for us.
Heb. 13:5b-6 (amp) God, Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me?
1 Jn. 4:18 There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].
We do not have to be afraid of other’s opinions of us, if we are confident in what God thinks of us. We are free to love, to trust others, to build relationships and to find our purpose and destiny. Ask yourself who is protecting you. Is it you and your walls? Or God and His Love?
Pastor Sharon Cluck/Author, teacher